Invisible girl..

Not really a 'discussion' blog tonight.. more of a whine.. but if I don't write it out I'm just gonna stay upset. Will be back to our regularly scheduled awesomeness tomorrow.. promise! 

Also.. while I have your attention.. I will be (in the next month or so) start posting some actual fat girl fashion as well as my usual a day in the life of a fat girl blogs.. on to the pity party..

I am sick of being invisible.

 It seems that when it comes to me and men, I have somehow managed to activate my own personal cloaking device. They look through, past, and around me.. they never actually SEE me. I have been working so hard to get my body into sexy shape, and feel like I look pretty ok for a fat 40yr old chick.. so to be unnoticed kind of hurts. It doesn't help that I have friends who are sexy gorgeous creatures who have to fight the guys off with a stick.. and are in relationships to boot.. so when I am out with them I may as well be furniture. It just sucks that I am ignored by every guy out there. 

I love being single, I really do.. but I'm lonely. I need some attention, some flirting that could GO somewhere, (not the harmless kind that I get with the VERY married guys I know) some action! Hell.. if a dude said hi I would probably faint from the excitement.. it has gotten that bad. 

I don't understand what the issue is.. it has to be ME. Maybe I have forgotten how to put out that 'available' vibe.. or maybe I send out waves of 'back off'.. but most men I have ever known don't really seem to notice those things if they notice the girl. 

I'm sure we will periodically revisit this topic.. until I can dissect my guts to find the problem, but for now I'm done.. I can't really think of anything else to say that doesn't just make it all worse. 

For the record.. I detest pity parties.. but as a writer, writing is how I work through my crazy shit, so.. there ya go.