I recently hit the mall for a couple pair of jeans.. I LOVE the colored skinny jeans and found myself in desperate need of some.. so into my favorite fat girl store I went. (I wish I could say it was Torrid, but since their nearest store to me is almost 100 miles away.. I go to the DEB in my mall) There was a sale, which made me super happy, I gathered up an armful of colors in my size and go to try them all on. Thank fuck I did! My usual size literally fell off me.. huh? For over a year I have worn an 18 at DEB. Ok, let's try a 16.. what the hell? They stay on.. sort of.. it looks like my vagina took a shit, they were so baggy in the front! Umm.. well.. let's try a 14. DEB had exactly ONE pair of jeans in a 14, not colored, but I tried them on anyway, just to check the fit.. ok, they button and I can still breathe and bend and such.. and still so baggy in the front.. I could have stuffed them with ANOTHER pair of pants!
What the FUCK?
I left DEB with not a thing.. and for the first time in a LONG time.. I shopped in a straight size store. No plus sizes, no XXL or super stretch denim.. and the clothes fit. I actually bought shirts at Hot Topic.. a store notorious for small sizing everything.. sexy fucking shirts! I bought a shirt.. with 2 little buttons holding the back together.. showing most of my completely naked back, and there was no back fat or rolls to hide.. even in my 14 jeans!
My weight has gone down 10 lbs.. that's it.. 10 sad little pounds. How does that translate to several sizes and a total relocation of my fat? Then I took a good look at my body, clad in a bra and panties, and the dressing room mirror told me something I hadn't really noticed.. the yoga had me standing straight and tall, while the cardio and strength training had my core pulled up and looking decidedly MUCH thinner. My scale said STILL fat, the mirror said FAT but firmer.
My point, without getting all preachy and shit, is that my scale had me convinced that I looked a certain way. The scale is a liar. My clothes tell a different story, and when I took the time to look, my mirror backed up the clothes.
We fat girls tend to focus on the amount of weight we have, and nothing else. We believe that if we can loose pounds then we will finally have a successful diet and go on to lead fabulous lives as skinny girls. That belief is wrong. Killing ourselves with fad diets and starving or living a life denying our right to yummy food is not the way to go! When you learn to love your body, accept the fat and the rolls and the muffin top (ever notice how the ways fat moves are named after food.. rolls and muffins.. hmm) and start to actually SEE your body, feel your fat, and move your body.. your fat finds the places it SHOULD be, and you begin to find the real perfect body is YOURS.
Yoga helped a lot. I began because I can't handle high impact shit.. my boobs get sore, my feet hurt and my back screams.. but yoga.. that stuff rocks! It stretches your muscles and you use your core (the muscles that are under our fat bellies) without realizing it. Yoga is a sneaky way to exercise.. it also works!
Get up, reach for the ceiling, try to touch your toes.. and keep doing it. While you are on fb, open a new tab and find some yoga positions you can do.. I'm not talking the crazy one arm supporting your pretzel twisted body nonsense.. in fact.. try these:
This is what I used to start..
See what happens.. you may be surprised.. I KNOW I was!
Take the time to make you happy, ignore the numbers on that hateful lying scale, and look.. really really LOOK.. at your fat body. Then, do what you will to change what you hate.
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